10 Ways to Spice Up Midterm Elections

1. More special effects in campaign ads.
2. Corporate sponsored election officers, from Hooters.
3. Oil, filter, lube while you wait (6-cylinders extra, plus recycling fee).
4. House music at the polling station.
5. No Republicans or Democrats.
6. Unlimited salad, soup, and breadsticks for just $5.99.
7. Polling stations inside of Fry's Electronics.
8. Automatic buy-in to the World Series of Poker Main Event.
9. Poll Tax.
10. Automatic renewal of your driver's license when you vote.