Friday, July 22, 2005

Top Video Games of All-Time

Arkanoid (Arcade and Nintendo)
The rich man’s pong.

Batman Returns (Atari Lynx)
Fantastic color depth and controls.

Battlefield 1942 (PC)
Amazing texture quality, sound and game play. Try the Merciless 1942 mod.

Blade Runner (PC)
Best all-around story

Bonk's Adventure (Turbo Grafx 16)
Poor man’s Super Mario

California Games (Atari Lynx)
Nothing beats the BMX challenge and the surfing

Castlevania (Nintendo)
Enough said.

Cobra Triangle (Nintendo)
Best game involving boats and/or water

Columns (SEGA GameGear)
Don’t worry about matching the colors because sooner or later they’ll all collapse at once

Command and Conquer: Red Alert (PC)
Forget Warcraft, this was the real deal.

Contra (Nintendo)
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, B, A, Select, Start . . . you bitches.

Daytona USA (Arcade)
I blame this game for my brother’s subsequent driving record.

Double Dragon (Nintendo and Gameboy)
Greatest theme music

Duckhunt (Nintend0)
Shooting that gun into genitalia has made millions barren.

Earthworm Jim (Genesis)
Fantastic animation and gameplay

Excite Bike (Nintendo)
That bike overheated faster than a Fiero. Ability to make your own tracks was a plus.

Final Fight (Arcade)
Cody and Hagar + Lead Pipes and Knives = Good Times

Goldeneye (N64)
Kiss two years of high school goodbye. Greatest weapon choices, challenging missions, and best multiplayer game of all time.

Halo (XBOX)
Launching a new generation.

Hot Dog Stand (Apple II)
Capitalism 101.

Ice Hockey (Nintendo)
Don’t pick all skinny guys!

Iron Tank (Nintendo)
High degree of difficulty.

JAWS (Nintend0)
Award for repetition in gameplay.

Killer Instinct (Arcade)
Personally, this beats out Mortal Kombat and Streetfighter. This is the one game I would have if I could buy an arcade game.

Life Force (Nintendo)
Nonstop action.

Marble Madness (Nintendo)
Nobody ever figured out how the controller was set up. I think it only had a Y and Z axis.

Metroid (Nintendo)
I have absolutely nothing to say about Metroid.

Michael Jackson's Moonwalker (Arcade)
Just hitting that dance button was worth the quarter.

Mike Tyson's Punch-Out (Nintendo)
Bald Bull from Istanbul? That motherfucker was tough. Though by the time you got to Soda Popinksi, you didn’t care as much . . .

Mortal Kombat (Arcade)
What the—blood in a video game? Fatality!!

NBA Jam (SEGA Genesis)
Nothing like an 11-overtime thriller at 4:00am with my childhood friend Ali.

Need for Speed (PC)
Realism award for automobile physics.

Ninja Gaiden (Nintendo)
Ability to stick to walls = instant classic.

Off-Road (Arcade and Nintendo)
Nitro, nitro, nitro, nitro . . . left turn . . . nitro, nitro, nitro . . . left turn.

Oregon Trail (Apple II)
Go hunting, go hunting!

Out-Run (SEGA Genesis)
Second-generation racing

Pac-Man (Arcade)
25 cents = 3 hours of fun.

Paperboy (Nintendo)
That stupid dog always ran into me.

Pit-Fighter (Atari Lynx and Arcade)
Nothing like beating people for money. I can’t tell if the graphics are good or bad.

Primal RAGE (Arcade)
Ain’t nothing like a dinosaur farting in your face after kicking your ass.

Prince of Persia: Sands of Time (PC)
Mindblowing graphics, mediocre fighting

Pro Wrestling (Nintendo)
The Amazon, Kin Corn Karn and the Giant Panther. Greatest wrestling game ever.

Rad Racer (Nintendo)
Creating the need for speed.

Rampage (Arcade)
They repeated the same damn buildings every level, but somehow kept it interesting.

Swashbuckler (Apple II)
I don’t even remember there being animation.

RoadBlaster (Arcade and Atari Lynx)
Mad-Max meets video games.

Robocop (Arcade)
Fantastic sound and 2D action.

Rygar (Atari Lynx)
No one else has heard of this game for some reason.

SimCity (PC)
Like no other.

Simpsons (Arcade)
Marge and her vacuum cleaner, hah.

Simpson's Doom (PC)
Was Doom not good enough on its own?

SmashTV (Arcade)
What, no buttons? Two joysticks?

Snood (PC)
Goodbye freshman year of college.

Space Invaders (TI-83 Graphing Calculator)
Without you I would still be wasting away in AP Physics.

Star Wars: Tie Fighter (PC)
Hey, let’s make every key on the keyboard control something!

Street Fighter II (Arcade)
If you didn’t pick Chun-Li, you’re in for a world of hurt.

Streets of Rage (Genesis)
Cementing my love for SEGA Genesis despite it’s shitty controller.

STUN Runner (Atari Lynx and Arcade)
A game only my brother and I loved.

Super Mario Brothers 3 (Nintendo)
The raccoon tail.

Superman (Arcade)
Fantastic game nobody played in the arcade.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Nintendo)
I could never find the rope.

Tekken (Arcade)
Let’s just mark the moment in time when japanimation took over.

Tetris (Gameboy, multiplayer)
Best puzzle game of all time.

Tony Hawk (Playstation)
Because it kept the skaters indoors for a little while.

Wolfenstein (PC)
Creepiest game ever.

Zelda (Nintendo)
Award for the most involved game.


Anonymous said...

Hogan's Alley for Nintendo and Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego for Apple (the other game besides Oregon Trail that got you through computer class), should be on that list. And Mario Kart for Super Nintendo wouldn't hurt either.

Anonymous said...

Assad, NBA Hangtime has to make the list, the next generation of NBA Jam...

Anonymous said...

Nice list, but you neglected Final Fantasy VII and Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, both for PlayStation. I would not be the man I am without them.